Bearing in mind that it’s 2am and I’ve been super stressed for the last few weeks and this is my unfiltered initial reaction:
"Until yesterday, I thought that I had had only appropriate, though occasionally manipulative relationships with women."
"It’s only in the last 24 hours that I’m realising how much I created situations that put people under enormous pressure."
- Quotes from Alex’s post, 13/3/14
"Thing is, you constantly made me feel like shit throughout 2-3 years of friendship? Like, there was the majority of last year, when you were constantly dismissing my feelings in favour of [name retracted]’s (and even went so far as to berate me several times because you thought I should be the better person even though it wasn’t me initiating any of the conflicts we had?), but also for the couple of years before that you consistently made me feel like if I wasn’t any use to you, then you didn’t want me around. When I’d stay at yours, you’d pretty much ignore me unless it seemed like you’d be getting some - and even when that did happen, the last few times were pretty strongly initiated by you. (On the GMS shoot we fell asleep agreeing that nothing would happen, then you woke me up by kissing me; MCM that October I slept on the floor in a sleeping bag to avoid it happening again, you came and lay right up next to me until I gave in; last February when I was having a shit time with [name retracted] and wanted to talk to/hug my friend before bed, you told me I couldn’t roll over to face you without you trying to kiss me.)"
- Exact quote from an email I sent him earlier this year, 2/2/14
I’m really angry and frustrated that the reaction to both of his posts seems to be “Oh, well, that’s okay then!” I’m really angry that Hank Green reblogged Alex’s On Consent post, thereby giving his approval of Alex’s words.
I’m really angry that Alex got in touch with me today - seemingly genuine - to tell me he didn’t “have a problem with (me) for speaking up about this” and that “bad decisions should be addressed”, and I told him that his post yesterday was really damaging, he needed to address the problem of people believing everything he said just because of his status in the YouTube community, and he needed to make amends to the women he’s hurt and manipulated in a way other than saying sorry only after they’ve called him out on it. I’m angry that he doesn’t seem to have taken any of that on board.
And I’m angry that when someone is called out for emotional manipulation, that person gives their point of view in a post on the internet that was obviously crafted to portray that person in the very best light they could be portrayed, and people believe that like it’s not just confirming what has already been said: this person is good at manipulating you until you agree with him.
This has been a lot more draining emotionally than I thought it would have been. I feel phenomenally helpless in the face of the thousands of people who don’t seem to think this is a problem, or think that it was a problem but he’s apologised and everything’s fine now.
(To answer your other question: I guess I’m a little disappointed about the lack of reaction from the Green brothers - incredibly disappointed with Hank’s reblog of On Consent - but also think it’s important not to look to them for guidance? This whole thing is about not placing other people on pedestals because they have subscribers. Hank and John are not exempt from this. Don’t let anyone else influence your opinions: make an effort to educate yourself on the matter and decide how you feel on your own.)